WITH the slither of gowns, sequins, feathers, smoky eyes, bold lips, killer heels, glamazon gowns, exquisite couture and a little camouflage, today’s ‘Fashion Olympics’ — the Met Gala in New York — had one thing missing.
That crazy little thing called underwear.
Look, I love a pert bum and some perky breasts as much as the next person, but the overload of them, especially on our red carpets is making them, well, not as special as they once were.
Sure, we have, for quite some time now known that flashing your flesh is a thing — nothing new there — but there is one little issue that I think we need to address. It’s the lack of underwear situation.
OK, without getting too, umm medically technical or super-hygienic on you, I just hope there are plenty of very strong pelvic floors in celebrity land.
I mean, when there is nothing between you and the red carpet, let’s hope an unexpected sneeze doesn't turn out to be your great paparazzi downfall.
There seems to be much irony in the fact that the Commes des Garcons — the very designer the Met Gala honoured this year — is known for very architectural, often distressed, sometimes bulky and art-curated type fashion.
The revered Japanese designer, Rei Kawakubo once admitted that “for something to be beautiful … it doesn’t have to be pretty” and “I make clothes for a woman who is not swayed by what her husband thinks” as well as “Comme des Garcons is a gift to oneself, not something to appeal or to attract the opposite sex”.
None of the above would probably apply to a few of the Met’s fashion participants this year with attracting the opposite sex certainly a calling card with many of the red carpet delicacies.
And it wasn't just the Met where undies were a no-show, even Jennifer Lopez looked to be getting in on the no undies act at last week’s Billboard awards. Although on closer inspection, we are sure there was a hint of a thong underneath her cobweb-inspired extravaganza.
Sure, she looked bloody amazing, but I just wonder where do we go from here?
When Kim Kardashian is accused of being slightly bland because she chose to wear an Alexander McQueen white dress that, surprise, surprise, covered much of her up to the Met, I think some celebrities have been boxed into a couture corner.
In order to garner attention they MUST flash it. So, they’re damned if they do. Then damned if they don’t!
A bit of freeballing is a many a man’s idea of underwear nirvana and I’ve gotta admit it, I’m sure many of us girls have followed that same path at certain times on our lives. (Admit it, of course you have!)
But I don’t know. Is it time to TRY and bring a little class and not as much ass back onto the world’s red carpet?